In a rare departure from all things schema therapy, I’d like to dip into a classic psychodynamic concept. One so helpful - once you get your head around it – that it can radically change how you might look at certain problematic interactions, toxic relationships and longstanding emotional baggage. It can help us build a deeper understanding of how we sometimes will use each other in dysfunctional and unhealthy ways. I’d love the term projective identification to become as

When you’re looking for private mental health support, trying to navigate a sea of professional titles when you already feel vulnerable can be overwhelming. In the NHS, these decisions are usually made for you. Your GP assesses your needs, and you’re directed to a specific tier of care. But in the private sector, you become the decision-maker. This brings a lot of freedom. But it also introduces complexities; even risks. Understanding the differences in training, regula

Emotional deprivation schema (CEN) stole more than just your childhood: it affects adulthood too. How does emotional deprivation affect childhood and adulthood? If you grew up feeling lonely, invisible, or unimportant, this quote is worth taking a moment to absorb: “Emotional deprivation feels like something is missing. It is a feeling of emptiness. Perhaps the image that most captures its meaning is that of a neglected child. Emotional deprivation is what a neglected ch

When you’re looking for help, choosing the right therapy approach - and the right practitioner – matters. Schema therapy is rapidly gaining traction in Scotland, which is incredibly positive news. Because it can be so effective, many skilled practitioners (such as CBT therapists) are now integrating schema-informed tools and interventions into their existing practice. That said, there’s a distinct difference between a therapist who uses schema interventions alongside othe

In an age where we’ve become comfortable sharing our most private thoughts with AI machines, I’d like to build a case for choosing a therapy relationship with another living, breathing human being. Firstly, of course, all of us need to feel that our thoughts and feelings make sense. We all need validation. We need to feel listened to, responded to. We all need to feel that we matter. These very human needs – to share ourselves, and to get something back that affirms us -

I often have enquiries from overseas. I am genuinely touched that someone very far away might consider me as a possible therapist for them. Although the digital age makes the world feel smaller, here are the main reasons why I restrict my client base to UK residents. I hope that explaining might reduce some of the disappointment and confusion that I understand someone might otherwise feel. ● In some places, it’s simply illegal for me to work with you. In most US states, f

This blog is about the reasons why we could choose therapy for ourselves. Therapy is about more than understanding our life patterns. In therapy, we can work to reclaim ourselves, bringing ourselves closer to the person we were born to be. Let me explain. We often approach therapy with a focus on understanding our thoughts and changing our behaviours. And these are good goals. But beneath the surface of our thinking and acting is the internal world of our emotions,

When should we consider involving a therapist? I notice that when people reach out to me, they’ve often been struggling for a long ...

How to time travel and change the past in therapy

Schema therapy: what are schemas and how do they operate?

What is childhood trauma?

You move through life with a gap inside you that it feels like nothing could fill. You search endlessly for the right partner who might...

Your journey, from how to contact me to the ending stage.

With so much on offer, how do you find the therapist you need, one specialising in childhood trauma or emotional neglect?